October 2021
The Reality of Chronic Illness: An Invitation to Leave the Mask at Home
By: Kayli Spears, MFT-Intern “You look normal.” “Why don’t you ever want to do anything?” “You are so flakey.” “Why are you always tired?” “Can’t you just take some medicine?” If you are an individual with autoimmune conditions or chronic pain, you will likely find the first few statements all too familiar. God has designed our minds and bodies to have open and intricate lines of communication with one another. When an individual experiences chronic stress, fear, anxiety, or depression, those emotions have the potential to manifest into physical ailments in the body. When autoimmune conditions are present, the mind
September 2021
Caring For the Caretaker: Pouring from an Empty Cup
By: Kayli Spears, LMFT Associate When was the last time you checked in on yourself? Being in the position of taking care of a loved one with an illness, dementia, and other memory-loss diseases, in particular, is a unique space accompanied by responsibility, loss, frustration, setbacks, and victories. The caretaker tends to their loved one hand and foot, but who is there to tend to them? An individual's caretaker position allows them to walk alongside a loved one, receiving the privilege of peering through the darkest corners of their journey along with the cracks of light and progress that make its
April 2020
What Effect is the Quarantine Having on My Relationship with My Partner?
Well like a lot of things in life the answer is that it depends, and I would like to put my thoughts and opinions out for those interested. I’ll start with being quarantined together. I know for some this has been an enhancement for their relationship and for some it has caused significant strife. In the case of the enhancement, it is due to lessened stress at work (furlough) for one person in the couple and therefore more attention being able to be given to the partner still working and that partner’s emotions. In the case of the increase in
March 2020
Progress vs. Perfection
I had an interesting conversation today about progress versus perfection. This is a concept that gets discussed often in my office and I would like to expound on it; also I found the following, awesome, quote by Voltaire: When we think of progress, what comes to mind? I think of steady advancement toward a goal. Whether that goal is a mental health accomplishment, a wood working project, a vehicle restoration, a scrap book, or recovery, progress is an incremental move toward a goal. Perfection is what? I think it is an ideal, it is something that we hold in our mind as
A Few Things to Know About Premarital Counseling
At its most basic, premarital counseling or education is a chance to sit down with a trained professional to discuss life after the wedding day. Most of the premarital couples I have worked with have numerous questions about roles, responsibilities, sex, money, work, kids, extended family, video games, social media, conflict, fighting fair…and the list could go on. It is important to note that these are couples who on the cusp of marriage, very much in love, and coming from a place of great commitment, yet they still have these questions. Let me assure you, it is okay to have the questions!
Struggling with Sexual Temptation as a Married Man? Part 5
Previously, I presented Proverbs 5 as God’s design for husbands to make sense of sexual temptation in marriage, and to further discover effective antidotes to prevent empowering the sexual temptation experience. God’s design is to empower a man’s experience of his wife, thereby disempowering the experience of sexual temptation. A husband needs to choose to rejoice in, be satisfied by, and be captivated by his wife, exclusively. Wives are designed to thrive in a context of knowing their husbands are making these choices. A fourth design parameter to consider comes from 1 Peter 3:7 where we find a verse stating
Struggling with Sexual Temptation as a Married Man? Part 4
Previously, I presented Proverbs 5 as God’s design for husbands to make sense of sexual temptation in marriage, and to further discover an effective antidote to the experience. The first design antidote is to choose to rejoice in your wife. The second design antidote is to choose to experience physical, sensual, and sexual satisfaction exclusively with your her. The third is to choose to be captivated in your wife. The scripture in Proverbs 5:19 states in most versions ‘may you be captivated by her love.’ Notice that the scripture does not include choosing to be captivated by physical characteristics. It
Struggling with Sexual Temptation as a Married Man? Part 3
Previously, I presented Proverbs 5 as God’s design for husbands to make sense of sexual temptation in marriage, and to further discover an effective antidote to the experience. The first design antidote is to choose to rejoice in your wife. The second design antidote is to choose to experience physical, sensual, and sexual satisfaction exclusively with her. The scripture in Proverbs 5:19 actually states in most versions ‘may her breasts satisfy you always.’ It seems clear that the verse is not about anatomy, but about the satisfying nature of bodily contact with a wife. Notice that the scripture does not
