November 2024
Becoming Empty Nesters
By: Alyssa Hyland, MFT-Intern, Supervised by Dr. Mark White, LMFT-S As a parent have you recently sent off your child to college and become an empty nester? Have you found that you and your partner may have strayed away from each other after all these years, feeling like there is a loss of connection or intimacy within the relationship? This feeling is common among parents who have recently become “empty nesters.” When all of the kids have moved out of the house, and it is once again just the parents. As parents, you focused so much time on your kids
Privacy, Secrecy, Transparency, and Authenticity: What does all this have to do with Good Faith?
By Tim White Disclaimer! I am writing this blog from the perspective that the partners in this scenario are working toward connecting, resolving, rebuilding trust, and healing/forgiving and that the person who has gone outside of the agreed boundaries in sex or communication* is genuinely showing up in good faith to work through the process. I am in no way proclaiming that a betrayed partner should stay in a relationship that is continuing to be deceitful, manipulative, coercive, or abusive. Further, let’s address * the really long but kinder way to say betrayer, cheater, liar, or two-faced %@*&^%#$!!@#$! So, please
February 2023
From Discovery Through Recovery
There are many circumstances in life in which it is intuitive to determine what actions to take to resolve a problem. Discovering that a trusted life partner is emotionally or sexually involved with another person or that they are involved in a sexually compulsive behavior like pornography use isn’t one of those circumstances. As individuals and couples, we are designed for intimate connections, with life commitment and marriage being the most intimate. I like to explain it using the concept of power. We have in us an inborn, God-given, DNA-structured design and desire to be the most powerful intimate connection
March 2020
Accountability in Intimate Relationships: What Does It Really Mean?
In my therapy practice I often hear about personal experiences of accountability. Usually though, it’s a description of failed accountability. Today, I want to explore accountability from a perspective of being set up for success. Accountability can be defined as “an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one's actions” (Webster), and as “acknowledgment and assumption of responsibility for actions, . . . (Wikipedia). Further, accountability for husbands in a marriage are set up for success when they consider the following elements: Intentional/voluntary – Husbands, enter an accountability relationship by your own personal intention, not just at
Why is Marriage So HARD? Pt. 3
Over the last month and a half I have brought several points to readers concerning God’s design for marriage. I will briefly provide you with a recap. In Pt. 1, from Matthew 22:36-40, I pointed to loving God, loving spouse, and loving self (with emphasis on healthy self-love) as essential to marriage that is not hard. In Pt. 2, from Proverbs 5:18-19, we see that healthy marriage relationships are born out of rejoicing in our spouse. That post went a little long and I had to cut it short and thus write a part 3. So, this post will return
Why is Marriage So HARD? Pt. 2
Two weeks ago I posted the first three principles of how to rely on God’s design for marriage and how that design allows access to marriage that is not oh-so-difficult. Those principles are based on Jesus’ guidance for us to love God, ourselves, and our spouses in a trinity of self-supporting and mutually beneficial relationships. If you haven’t read it yet I encourage to take a few minutes to do so. This week I will be coming to you from Proverbs 5:18 & 19. It is here that husbands are encouraged to behave towards their wives in a particular way.
Why is Marriage So HARD?
The other day I was having a conversation with a friend and we began talking about marriage. I stated I didn’t think marriage has to be as hard as our culture, even our churches make it out to be. His eyes narrowed, he tilted his head, “REALLY! You think marriage doesn’t have to be that hard?” Why wouldn’t my friend think that way? We hear it all the time. All the clichés; “it’s a 50/50 deal, no it isn’t you gotta give 100%, there’s no way, if you’re not in it 110% the wheels are gonna fall off.” Even in
