March 2020
Struggling with Sexual Temptation as a Married Man? Part 2
Previously, I presented Proverbs 5 as God’s design for husbands to make sense of sexual temptation in marriage, and to further discover an effective antidote to the experience. The first design antidote is to choose to rejoice in your wife. Proverbs 5: states ‘may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.’ Rejoicing is not a common term for most of us in today’s culture. What does this really mean in the Hebrew context in which it was written? We need to know the meaning in order to live out the design. Rejoice means to feel or to show great
Struggling with Sexual Temptation as a Married Man? Part 1
God’s word tells us to not covet our neighbor’s wife. But the world we live in presents sexual temptation every day. When the book of Hebrews says that Jesus himself was tempted in every way, but was without sin, does that mean that he experienced sexual temptation? If so, what’s the difference between coveting (sin) and the sexual temptation of Jesus? How can I make sense out of the commandment, my daily reality, and the temptation of Jesus himself? First, when scripture says that Jesus was tempted in every way, we must assume that his temptation included sexual temptation. Second,
Your Sense of Self
Your sense of self. What is it? Who is it? How do you know? What is it based on? Is it simply a list of all the roles and attributes that you have? If that is the case then I am a husband, driver, father, sighted-person, son, homed person, brother, right-handed person, friend, smeller of delicious scents, veteran, and therapist. Some of these may seem silly, but consider the loss of one or more of these roles or attributes. Anosmia is the loss of the sense of smell, the only reason I remember this is because of a Scrubs
Accountability in Intimate Relationships: What Does It Really Mean?
In my therapy practice I often hear about personal experiences of accountability. Usually though, it’s a description of failed accountability. Today, I want to explore accountability from a perspective of being set up for success. Accountability can be defined as “an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one's actions” (Webster), and as “acknowledgment and assumption of responsibility for actions, . . . (Wikipedia). Further, accountability for husbands in a marriage are set up for success when they consider the following elements: Intentional/voluntary – Husbands, enter an accountability relationship by your own personal intention, not just at
Self-Care, Not Just Chocolates and Bubble Baths
Have you ever had one of those weeks where you just can’t give any more? Your tank is running on empty, and it’s only Thursday. You tell yourself that you only have to make it two more days until the weekend. Then your boss informs you that you’re going to have to come in on Saturday to finish up a project. Then daycare calls and tells you your child is throwing up and has a fever. Then your spouse informs you that they forgot to mention that their parents are coming over for dinner on Sunday. Suddenly, the weekend you’ve
Transformed by Renewing the Mind
So many life principles from the Bible apply to mental health. In Romans 12:2, Paul gives us just such a great life principle; becoming transformed by renewing the mind. In context, Paul had just addressed some ineffective patterns of worldly living. Then he states to not conform any longer to the old patterns, but instead to become transformed by renewing our minds. From a mental health perspective, I want to put some practical action on how to accomplish this. If I have an old, ineffective pattern of thinking due to my experience of life, but the truth of God’s design
Created for Connection but Susceptible to Alternatives
Dr. White - I recently reviewed some addiction debate among professionals regarding a YouTube video titled Addiction, by Kurzgesagt: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8AHODc6phg And a TED Talk titled Everything You Think You Know About Addiction is Wrong, by Johann Hari: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PY9DcIMGxMs Their point being made is that a potential underlying cause of addiction that has been undervalued in research and treatment is disconnection; addicts often suffer varying degrees of disconnection in their important relationships. Hari concludes that “the opposite of addiction is not sobriety. It is human connection.” I don’t want to enter the debate by taking a stand in far left or far right views. But
Equipped for Success!
I heard a great message at church last Sunday, proclaiming the finished work of God in our lives. One of the points made was that we are equipped for success, more specifically, that we have been given everything we need for life and godliness. This is a past tense, finished work of God in each of us. By design, we are fully equipped for life. As a mental health professional, I talk to many people who say they don’t feel equipped on an emotional level. What is it that hinders us from feeling equipped for success? What hinders some of
