March 2020
Struggling with Sexual Temptation as a Married Man? Part 2
Previously, I presented Proverbs 5 as God’s design for husbands to make sense of sexual temptation in marriage, and to further discover an effective antidote to the experience. The first design antidote is to choose to rejoice in your wife. Proverbs 5: states ‘may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.’ Rejoicing is not a common term for most of us in today’s culture. What does this really mean in the Hebrew context in which it was written? We need to know the meaning in order to live out the design. Rejoice means to feel or to show great
Struggling with Sexual Temptation as a Married Man? Part 1
God’s word tells us to not covet our neighbor’s wife. But the world we live in presents sexual temptation every day. When the book of Hebrews says that Jesus himself was tempted in every way, but was without sin, does that mean that he experienced sexual temptation? If so, what’s the difference between coveting (sin) and the sexual temptation of Jesus? How can I make sense out of the commandment, my daily reality, and the temptation of Jesus himself? First, when scripture says that Jesus was tempted in every way, we must assume that his temptation included sexual temptation. Second,
Accountability in Intimate Relationships: What Does It Really Mean?
In my therapy practice I often hear about personal experiences of accountability. Usually though, it’s a description of failed accountability. Today, I want to explore accountability from a perspective of being set up for success. Accountability can be defined as “an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one's actions” (Webster), and as “acknowledgment and assumption of responsibility for actions, . . . (Wikipedia). Further, accountability for husbands in a marriage are set up for success when they consider the following elements: Intentional/voluntary – Husbands, enter an accountability relationship by your own personal intention, not just at
Equipped for Success!
I heard a great message at church last Sunday, proclaiming the finished work of God in our lives. One of the points made was that we are equipped for success, more specifically, that we have been given everything we need for life and godliness. This is a past tense, finished work of God in each of us. By design, we are fully equipped for life. As a mental health professional, I talk to many people who say they don’t feel equipped on an emotional level. What is it that hinders us from feeling equipped for success? What hinders some of
Why is Marriage So HARD? Pt. 3
Over the last month and a half I have brought several points to readers concerning God’s design for marriage. I will briefly provide you with a recap. In Pt. 1, from Matthew 22:36-40, I pointed to loving God, loving spouse, and loving self (with emphasis on healthy self-love) as essential to marriage that is not hard. In Pt. 2, from Proverbs 5:18-19, we see that healthy marriage relationships are born out of rejoicing in our spouse. That post went a little long and I had to cut it short and thus write a part 3. So, this post will return
Why is Marriage So HARD? Pt. 2
Two weeks ago I posted the first three principles of how to rely on God’s design for marriage and how that design allows access to marriage that is not oh-so-difficult. Those principles are based on Jesus’ guidance for us to love God, ourselves, and our spouses in a trinity of self-supporting and mutually beneficial relationships. If you haven’t read it yet I encourage to take a few minutes to do so. This week I will be coming to you from Proverbs 5:18 & 19. It is here that husbands are encouraged to behave towards their wives in a particular way.
Why is Marriage So HARD?
The other day I was having a conversation with a friend and we began talking about marriage. I stated I didn’t think marriage has to be as hard as our culture, even our churches make it out to be. His eyes narrowed, he tilted his head, “REALLY! You think marriage doesn’t have to be that hard?” Why wouldn’t my friend think that way? We hear it all the time. All the clichés; “it’s a 50/50 deal, no it isn’t you gotta give 100%, there’s no way, if you’re not in it 110% the wheels are gonna fall off.” Even in
Releasing Unforgiveness
Because we are all human and humanity is inherently a condition of weaknesses, we cannot give forgiveness without releasing the emotions that coexist with the thoughts relative to an issue that needs forgiving. Therefore, instead of talking about giving forgiveness, I prefer to help people through a process of releasing unforgiveness. This is not an effort to label someone as unforgiving as if that was a fault. It is simply a recognition of a reality of God's design of humanity. An assumption or prerequisite of this process is that we have already admitted/acknowledged that an offense occurred. This process does
