Navigating the world of co-parenting can be a real rollercoaster of emotions and challenges for many families, especially if you are newly separated or divorced. Effective co-parenting often starts by putting the child’s needs front and center. By focusing on what’s best for the child, parents can set aside personal differences and work together to create a supportive and loving environment for the child/children. One key piece of advice I always emphasize is never to talk badly about the other parent in front of the child/children. A child carries a blend of traits from both their mother and father, and speaking negatively about the other parent can impact the child’s self-worth. It’s important to remember that children absorb everything around them, so promoting positivity and respect in co-parenting can nurture their confidence and well-being.
Open communication is key to a good co-parenting relationship. Being able to have honest and respectful conversations with your child’s mother or father can go a long way in resolving conflicts and making joint decisions that benefit everyone involved. There will be times that you will need to compromise with the other parent, whether it be swapping weekends so the child can see their other parent’s family, or allowing your child to stay an additional day with their other parent because they are going on vacation. It is crucial to give others grace and be flexible if something is important to your child. By working together, you are prioritizing the well-being and stability of your child.
Accepting the fact that the other parent has a different parenting style or expectations and rules is extremely important. If there is something that really bothers you that the other parent does in their parenting, you may want to have a calm and respectful conversation over this, to try and find common ground. But there may also be times when one parent stands firm in their choices. In this instance, you will have to accept that you have no control over rules and expectations at the other parent’s house, but only to have a conversation with the child on how things may be different when going to mom’s house versus dad’s house. Looking at the bigger picture, as long as the child is safe, happy, and loved, then going to bed an hour later at dad’s house is probably not something to make a fuss about.
Seeking support can provide valuable tools and strategies to navigate these hurdles and strengthen the co-parenting relationship. I can offer a neutral perspective and help both parents work through challenges constructively, which, in the end, will benefit the most important piece of the puzzle: the child.
If you or someone you know needs support in child-centered co-parenting, please reach out to make an appointment with me. You can do so by calling (806) 780-0003 or visiting www.dwatherapy.com. Many thanks, Melonie Brown, MFT Intern
