At its most basic, premarital counseling or education is a chance to sit down with a trained professional to discuss life after the wedding day. Most of the premarital couples I have worked with have numerous questions about roles, responsibilities, sex, money, work, kids, extended family, video games, social media, conflict, fighting fair…and the list could go on. It is important to note that these are couples who on the cusp of marriage, very much in love, and coming from a place of great commitment, yet they still have these questions. Let me assure you, it is okay to have the questions! Not only is it okay to have the questions, it is a great idea to seek the answers together, prior to tying the knot.
I encourage the use of the Prepare/Enrich assessment, which I am qualified to administer. This assessment identifies the couple’s strengths and growth areas. This is valuable in that it can streamline some of what I need to know for helping the couple and it may reveal some issues that were previously not well know or understood. It is also very valuable in highlighting a couple’s strengths and validating what a couple is fairly sure to be true about their relationship.
Aside from the Prepare/Enrich tools I will give the couple a “menu” of topics that they may choose from. This menu includes topics such as money, family, sex, kids, and work/life balance that couples typically like to cover. I find this helpful in guiding our time together. We also have in-house developed homework that we will assign to couples to do between sessions. Please don’t worry though, this is not the homework you dreaded in high school! The homework we assign is designed to get you and your partner to engage in meaningful and connecting conversation. We call this The Pursuit of the Heart and we have seen this to be very valuable in communicating and connecting!
Finally, I would like to reference a study that clearly indicates the benefit of premarital counseling. In 2006, Stanley, Amato, Johnson & Markman found that couples who participated in premarital counseling were more than 30% less likely to suffer divorce. Further, the head of psychology at BYU anecdotally states that he believes the rates to be more like a 50% reduction in the risk of divorce (Hanson, 2017). Aside from the risk of divorce, Stanley, Amato, Johnson & Markman, (2006) also state that participants in premarital counseling report higher levels of satisfaction, a decrease in the number of destructive conflicts, and increased levels of commitment.
This is great evidence as to why you should engage in premarital & marriage counseling in Lubbock, TX with your partner prior to tying the knot!
If you are planning on getting married soon AND you want to be set up for success, please reach out today! Our phone number is 806-780-0003 and my email address is timwhite@dwatherapy.com if you have any other questions. At Dr. White and Associates, we provide trusted and experienced counseling & therapy in Lubbock, Texas.
